Wines for the Zodiac Signs

I don’t know if this is 100% true, but apparently your zodiac sign can tell you everything about yourself from what your personality is like to who you’re compatible with and more. If it is true, then your zodiac sign should also be able to tell you what kind of books you like to read, what television shows you should watch, what food you like to eat, and what kind of wine you should try.

In this post, I have paired wine with the zodiac signs’ different personalities. See if your sign matches up to what you like to drink or sparks your interest in trying something new.

Aries

Look, I’ve got a thing against Aries. For some reason I attract them like moths to a flame except I hate moths and fire makes me nervous. Aries likes to be number one. They are a fire sign and they tend to be competitive and eager. Their Tinder/Bumble bio probably says something like, “I’m overly competitive about… Everything.” They’re also courageous and creative, which are definitely positive traits in the wine world. The perfect wine for them is Cabernet Franc. Cabernet Franc can be high in acidity, a little spicy, and pairs well with acidic dishes. It’s also a wine that’s fun to get creative with whether you’re pairing it with something or getting brave and trying it from different regions.

Taurus

One of my best friends in the entire world is a Taurus. She always plays devil’s advocate when I need to vent, but her advice always ends up being helpful. Tauruses are reliable and grounded. They can be short-tempered and stubborn at times. Have you ever seen a Taurus drive? Talk about petty road rage. I have decided to pair Pinot Noir with Taurus because you can almost never go wrong with a Pinot Noir. Pinot Noir also has earthy flavors which are perfect for an earth sign and a lot of Pinot Noir drinkers can be stubborn in the way that they never want to try a red wine outside of a Pinot Noir.

Gemini

Gemini is such a funny sign for me. I’ve met god-awful ones and I’ve met some that are the greatest people in the world. Geminis are known for being two-faced; however, I think this can be translated as versatile. They’re also incredibly smart. I’m talking about how they can plan revenge and always be thirteen steps ahead of you, but also naturally do well in school or work. I also love how outgoing Geminis tend to be. Going with the versatile theme, I think Lambrusco is the perfect wine for them. Lambrusco is typically sparkling (great for air signs) and pairs with a lot of different food. Not every sommelier out there is going to agree with me that Lambrusco is versatile, but this is my blog and I say that it is.

Cancer

Cancers are water signs. Two of my best friends are Cancers and they might kill me for saying this, but they are NOT good at communication. What I mean by this is that they could be feeling mad, but instead of telling you right away, they bottle it up until they blow up and do something stupid. They can be emotional and cautious as well as protective. If you’re close with a Cancer, they’ll be a ride or die for you. Cancers are honestly the sweetest signs IMO, which is why I have matched them with Riesling. Riesling is a sweet and safe choice of wine plus, you can drink it like water LOL.

Leo

I have a love-hate relationship with Leos. Leos are enthusiastic and very outgoing, which makes them easy and fun to talk to. They can be dramatic and they’re definitely self-centered and egotistical at times. It makes sense that they are fire sign with a lion being their symbol. The perfect wine for Leos is a Malbec because Malbec tends to have bold and dramatic flavors, but if it’s paired with the wrong thing, it can overpower the dish and steal the show. Typical.

Virgo

Virgo is the practical zodiac sign. They are also modest, reliable, and patient. Virgos are probably patient because they’re such perfectionists LOL. They can also be overly-critical and judgmental, which is why a lot of people get annoyed at Virgos. The ones I’ve met can be a little uptight. The element for Virgo is earth. That is why Sauvignon Blanc is the best pairing for Virgos. Sauvignon Blanc is easy to pair and has mineral flavors that typically come from the soil from which the grapes were grown.

Libra

For some reason, almost all of my best friends are Libras. I don’t know how it happens, but they’re all straight up Libras. Libras are social and easy-going, which is probably why they’re easy to make friends with. The Libras I know are so annoyingly indecisive. Do you want Starbucks, yes or no? Maybe is not a valid answer! Some people say Libras are also romantic and boujee. I think this is exactly why Champagne is such a perfect pairing for Libras. Champagne is great for social and romantic events and it is also bubbly which is ideal for air signs. Champagne pairs well with fried and salty foods, but let’s be real… Libras are going to pair their Champagne with caviar.

Scorpio

Scorpios are passionate, powerful, and exciting. Unfortunately, I have dated too many Scorpios to know that the former is true. I say unfortunately because they are also manipulative and super secretive. Honestly, I think that’s just if you meet the wrong ones. The other Scorpios I know are hilarious and never fail to make me cry from laughing so hard. Scorpios are a water sign. Scorpio were meant for Syrah. Syrah is a powerful wine that draws excitement from every sip. I also think most Syrahs are hiding some kind of secret whether it’s smoke taint or surprise Australian bubbles, I don’t know.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is optimistic and straightforward. I know one Sagittarius and she is loyal as hell… to Crocs. Kidding (kind of), she’s also loyal to her friends. Sagittarius can be a little clumsy at times and my god are they over-confident. My same Sagittarius friend thought she was going to learn a full quarter’s worth of Calculus the night before the final. I will say that you need to have a Sagittarius around because they’re fun. Chardonnay is a good wine for Sagittarius because it has flavors of tropical fruits and some other subtle flavors like butter and vanilla when it’s aged in oak. Chardonnay is made in a large variety of styles which is good for Sagittarius’ adventurous spirit. They can pick whichever style of Chardonnay they’re feeling that day.

Capricorn

Capricorns are disciplined, independent, and reserved. They tend to be the most ambitious of the zodiac signs. I dated a Capricorn once. He was extra suspicious and not good at hiding it. Capricorns are weirdly cynical too. However, two of my best friends are Capricorns and they are the sweetest people I have ever met. Again, ambitious AF. For Capricorns, I chose Pinotage. Pinotage is an ambitious wine at the dinner table because most people won’t know what it is or what to pair it with. Capricorns love a challenge and that’s exactly what Pinotage is.

Aquarius

I am an Aquarius. Shocker. Aquarians tend to march to the beat of their own drum. They are imaginative, original, and independent. Aquarians can be super unpredictable. Aquarians are stubborn (true), too analytical (true), and unemotional (also true). I can’t only say positive things about my sign now, can I? Especially when I’ve been roasting all of the other signs in this post. New World wines tend to be imaginative and original which is why I have paired Aquarius with a New World Petite Syrah. Old World wines just don’t really allow for that kind of creativity.

Pisces

Pisces are selfless, artistic, and empathetic, which are amazing traits to have. They are also incredibly adaptive, but I just have one question. Why are they so irrational?! No seriously, what is it? And they do this thing where you’ll be in the middle of a conversation about butterflies and they’ll chime in with something like, “I used to love butterflies, but every time I touch one, it dies.” It feels like they want you to feel sorry for them. Cut it out, Pisces! For Pisces, I have chosen Cabernet Sauvignon. I know, Cabernet Sauvignon is basic, but so are Pisces (not in a bad way). Cabernet Sauvignon is also adaptive. Steak? Cabernet Sauvignon. Lamb? Cabernet Sauvignon. Need a red wine sauce? Cabernet Sauvignon.

Horoscope artwork is courtesy of lenahelfinger on Pixabay.